If you are new to the concept of Intuitive Eating, and haven’t read the actual book but just been picking up bite size pieces from Social Media, your idea of intuitive eating might be something like “Eat all you want, whenever you want”. Or “Eat only when hungry and stop when you are satisfied / comfortably full.”
There are truths to these ideas but it isn’t the whole truth and there are much more nuance to this way of coming back to attunment with our bodies when it comes to food and eating.
Yes we want to get to a place where we can honour our physical hunger, instead of denying it. And it is lovely to be able to stop eating when you feel comfortably full and deliciously satisfied. But in order to get there, you most likely need to do a few things first.
There are also times when waiting to eat until you are physically hungry is impractical and for some people the hunger cues are less accessible than for others. However this doesn’t mean that your body doesn’t need food. It means that you need some reliable structure to make sure that you feed yourself despite the absence of cues and signals.
Often when trying to recover from an eating disorder eating tends to be either chaotic or restrictive (and often both!) and in order to get to a place of “intuitive eating”, where we are attuned to our bodies’ signals of hunger and fullness we tend to need some structure so that we can make sure that the needs of eating regularly and eating adequately are met.
What does structured eating look like?
Having some structure to your eating includes planning and shopping for food. Because it so much easier to honour our hunger when we have food available and can make an easy meal or snack.
Planning can include making a weekly menu and buying the ingredients required for those meals.
It can also include batch cooking and having easy accessible freezer meals, frozen vegetables and pantry staples at your disposal so that it is easy to make food that are filling and satisfying even when time and energy is scarce.
Don’t forget how convenient leftovers can be for this also. Make some extra when you are cooking an prepping anyway so that you have food for next day lunch boxes or a meal that just requires reheating!
Structured eating can also include reminders which helps us make sure that our bodies get fed in a timely manner. This is particularly useful if your hunger cues are faint, somewhat unreliable or if you simply struggle to forget how to eat when engrossed in something really interesting, and your attention is elsewhere.
Of course, having food to hand and easy accessible snacks will help when your alarm goes off to tell you that it is time to eat.
Structured eating can help you build body trust and help foster intuitive eating by ensuring regularity and adequacy with food.
What makes structured eating different from following a diet plan?
Well for starters: The fact that YOU decided on the structure and the type of foods that is included.
When you are doing your planning and shopping you chose foods that you like, can prepare and are within your budget.
Instead of following a plan with foods, that you might not even like or don’t have a clue how to cook and prepare.
Sometimes, I help my clients with this in session, where we brainstorm together what the weekly menu plan can look like. This is a collaborative effort. Not me making a plan telling you what you should and shouldn’t eat but instead together figuring out what it is you like eating what is satisfying, within the context of your daily life.
Years of dieting can make this challenging so sometimes having someone else to explore with can help.
With structured eating the difference is that the structure is there to be supportive and flexible. Not rigid like a diet plan. You can’t fail with your own menu plan. If you decide in the moment to go with something different to what you had planned, that is fine. Attuned eating and intuitive eating are all about flexibility.
The final thing that I also want to mention is that part of a more structured eating, which promotes flexibility is that there are times when you need to eat in preparation. Before you are really hungry. What I am talking about here is when you might be leaving the house and know that are most likely to be hungry later but at time when eating or access to food might be inconvenient or not possible.
So you choose to eat earlier because otherwise the risk of becoming hangry is impending.
A couple of different conversations and observations over the past few weeks or so sparked my inspiration for writing this blog post.
A friend shared on her FB page the other day about how she’s arrived at the point in her life that she’s going to let go of the strong focus on go-goal-getting and instead be more open to receive what comes.
To savour the journey itself more, rather than just looking at it as a means to get to the destination.
Then there was the conversation between two of my colleagues who work in the mindfulness/ Intuitive Eating / non-diet approach space, which sparked a self reflection on how I know do my own work, and (try) to live my own life.
One colleague put the question out to the community of “How do I help my client know that she has arrived at being an intuitive eater? How will she know that she is finished with our work together?”.
Another colleagues chipped in with the deep wisdom of that when we work in this space of mindfulness and mindful eating, there is really no “arriving”, in the same way we have when we are measuring against a specific outcome, like x number of lb lost, of being able to run a certain distance in a certain amount of time, of being strong enough to lift a certain amount of weights in the gym.
What we are doing in this space is perhaps more about cultivating resilience and courage to meet life as it unfolds. I think we are creating skills for being able to better bounce back from our life experiences.
Don’t get me wrong, I do think it is important to have goals or maybe more like strong intentions and most of all a sense of purpose, to keep us moving forward. Personally I like how Danielle Laporte puts it; “How do you want to feel?” And then let this be our guiding intention that will frame and inform our actions and behaviours.
I have reflected a lot recently on how I now often work in my clinical practice in this less ‘goal oriented’ and more self care and skills driven way. I really love when people share with me their breakthroughs of how they have made choices that are reflected in putting themselves first in a self loving caring way.
But it is also so challenging at the same time, because it takes so much trust in the process, from both parties. It is extremely rewarding though!
Myself and my friend and collaborator Jen, have discussed these ideas of goals, outcomes and intentions and how it relates to mindfulness, many times. That mindfulness meditation it isn’t really a practice that you use as a means to achieve a particular outcome. It is a way of learning to meet life as it is, from where you are. Pick up any good quality book on the subject by any of the teachers who have practiced this tradition for a long time, and you will see that this is very much at the core of the teachings.
From the practice we develop skills to be more resilient to do just that (meeting life as it is), and as a side effect we tend to experience many positive benefits.
Time and time again, my clients voice how hard they are on themselves. And I’ve discovered how often people feel it’s either all or nothing, and if they are not all in, they are not doing it right, which often has the side effect that then “I may not do it at all”.
The truth is, changed IS hard. But it does ALL count, every single bit that we are working on, trying to do different, in order not so much to change who we are but to care for ourselves better, more kindly.
I’m not sure that most of us needs more drive, more focus or to be harder on ourselves to create change. Maybe what we do need is a strong intention, as sense of purpose but most of all a sense of worthiness. Alongside a hefty dose of self compassion and some self kindness.
We live in an era where so many people cook less, eat in a hurry and yet often are more preoccupied with the effect the food they eat have on their health than ever.
My mother became a health conscious vegetarian in the late 70s, not too long after my grandparents had given up their Aga for an electric cooker and the novelty of powder that could turn into mash, rather than cooking the potatoes that they were growing in the fields…
In the ten years since I began my path to study and immersing myself in nutrition and nutritional science, the field have just exploded!
Online summits, upon online summits. Webinars, books and online courses.
Whether you are looking for a professional career in the field of health and wellness or simply want to educate yourself further to be able to take your own health into your own hands, the opportunities these days are endless. And so is the amount of information available. Endless. With lots of conflicting information at times…
Yes I find nutritional science really interesting and exciting, but like one of my colleagues in the HAES (Health At Every Size) community pointed out, when it comes to it (food and eating and nutrition), “there’s always a human involved”.
The relationship between food and eating and its many layers of complexity is becoming increasingly fascinating to me. There’s so much to it!
Society.
Cultural messages.
Personal knowledge.
Personal preference.
Socioeconomic status.
Food availability.
Health goals.
Religion.
Cooking skills.
Family history.
Body image.
I feel like over the past few years my work has gradually evolved and I’ve become more clear on in what way I want to go. How I want to work, what message I am sending out and how I serve in this world.
Less about black and white thinking.
More about colour and creativity,
Less about guilt and shame.
More about joy and happiness.
Less about rules and shoulds.
More about embracing and trusting intuition and inner wisdom.
Less about eating from a place of head-knowledge.
More about eating from embodied needs and heart.
Less about the goals, more about the process.
Less fear, more care.
Less head “thinking”, more heart “feeling”.
It often feels counter cultural to move in this direction, yet it feels like TRUTH to me, so I’m heeding my calling.
And I am really hope that you will join me!
This is a journey about marrying nutrition with intuition.
To eat in a way that honour our bodies physical needs, from a place of care.
Without moral judgment attached to neither the food nor the eating.
Where we can learn to use the nutrition knowledge we have to look at food as supportive vs. non supportive and realised with mindful awareness that this may change depending on context and circumstances.
Breaking up with diet mentality and taking the path to freedom with mindful eating is one of courage and care, of kindness and compassion, of trust and discernment.
It is a way of looking after ourselves in the best way we can, because we are worthy and worth it.
“Don’t be ashamed of telling your story. It may inspire others” – Unknown
With that in mind, I will tell you mine…
Once upon a time there was a little girl with thick blond hair, living in the countryside of Sweden, together with her loving mum, dad and baby brother.
This little girl was raised by very health conscious mum and sweets / candy never really featured in the house. In fact it wasn’t until this little girl was about three years old that she had candy for the very first time, much to her mother’s dismay(!) Simply because her childminder felt sorry for the little girl, that had yet to experience the sweetness of candy…
The spell of innocence was broken.
The little girl discovered that she really loved the sweet taste so much! Sometimes she would even trick her brother (who seemed to be totally ambivalent about sweets) to have some of his too. (Or even sneakily steal some… Not very proud moments)
As this little girl grew up to become a teenager, she continued to enjoy the pleasure and sweetness of all kinds sweet. Jellies, chocolates, biscuits. To be honest, eating them brought a lot of pleasure, yet she never thought of using them to sooth feelings, nor had she any trouble with her weight.
Then one day things changed for this (reasonably easy going) teenager.
She was told that she was fat. Too heavy to continue to ride her favourite horse at the racing stables.
So she decided to do what every sensible person do who have issues with their weight… She decided to go on a diet.
Over the following decade she read ALL the diet books, she tried to; stop eating, eating in secret, overriding her physical signals of hunger and satiety. She tried diet pills, exercise, and replacement products to keep her weight to a number that she felt represented her happiness.
Through all of this, still loved the taste of sweet, so staying off sweets and chocolate was really challenging.
Each time she couldn’t stick to the plan she had set for herself, she would throw her hands in the air and go ”F*ck it, I’ve blown it now so I may just keep eating”.
What perhaps this (now) young woman didn’t realise was that the sweet foods were soothing the lack of other sweetness in her life.
She didn’t see the connection between her eating and her living. She didn’t see that she was working long hours in a very physically demanding job, where she often didn’t feel appreciated or valued.
She didn’t make the connection how the sweetness of food was filling the void and the lack of sweetness in her life.
Because she was too busy weighing herself every day, berating herself for the fact that she couldn’t be “good” with food and that she was still ‘feeling’ fat.
She felt sad, lonely and unworthy. And on top of this she was also tired and suffered with digestive issues.
Then one day, when as she was racing towards the black hole of depression, she woke up and decided “I need to change my life.”
She saved some money, organised a job on the other side of the world.
She changed her environment.
She got a fresh perspective.
Though she stilled weighed herself daily at this point in time, she also started to explore and gather some awareness of how, what and why she was eating.
Then all of a sudden, a moment of awakening and insight struck! “Wait a minute, my happiness cannot be determined by a number on the scales. It has to come from within”.
(Hello INSIGHT!)
This ONE realisation, changed this young woman’s life forever.
She simply got off the scales, gave herself full permission to eat whatever foods she wanted (candy and all). She placed her focus on eating when she was physically hungry, and she began the tedious work of paying attention to and stop eating when comfortably full.
She began to honour her body instead of fighting it.
In this moment, this young woman began her healing process of creating a healthy relationship with food, eating and her body.
She began walking the path to freedom, peace and wholeness.
To be honest, this hasn’t always been an easy process, and there are still times that body image issues and negative thoughts around my body appear. They never truly went away regardless of what size my body is /was. But today I have much more awareness, I can hear them more clearly which mean I can recognise them for what they are, thoughts not facts.
So why am I sharing the story of this little girl who liked the taste of sweet so much, who eventually grew up to become a nutritionist, food blogger and mindful eater?
It is because I learnt so much from unravelling my story and perhaps someone else may recognise themselves in it.
It is also because I see so much suffering around food and eating, in today’s “sugar phobic and fat fobic” world. And this is impacting on people’s quality of life.
The sense of restriction that is created around trying to avoid something that is so abundantly prevalent in our western society, can all too easily back-fire.
More than anything, I believe, when it comes to navigate the challenge of consuming sugary foods (or fatty foods, or any food for that matter!), is that it is fundamental that we are making our choices from a place of care rather than fear.
Because when we do, we can approach it with an open and curious mind.
To hear and recognise the subtle messages it give us, if we pay attention.
Rather than getting stuck in a cycle of blame and shame, we can with care and kindness recognise that perhaps this particular food and craving is doing something for us?
Maybe it is filling a void?
Maybe it is a symbol for how we are living our life?
Once we get curious about this, we can create space for choice and be discerning of what it is we truly need and want.
To truly heal my own relationship with food & eating I also had to toss a couple of limiting beliefs into the FIRE.
Like;
When I have a perfect body I will be happy
Eating “perfectly” will make my body perfect
I am “good” when I eat “good” foods
I am “bad” when I eat “bad” food
Giving myself full permission to eat ALL kinds of foods (no rules), and letting go of the “good” and “bad” labels have paved a way out of restriction (precipitating bingeing) , a letting go of any labels also helped me let go of any associated guilt and shame (very liberating!)
This has helped me to arrive at a place where I can listen and pay attention to my body’s needs and eat from a place of pleasure AND care. It tastes like freedom and feels like nourishment.
So I invite you to get curious. What is your Sugar Story trying to tell you?
And if you want some more tips and tools on this journey then sign up to my FREE three parts video series below.
Do you long to let go of obsession around food, eating and weight? Would you like to feel freedom and peace around meals and beyond, but need some help and support to get there?
It would be an honour to walk with you on this path. Please email me HERE to set up a free 30 min consultation to explore how this may be possible for you too.
What does self care through food and eating look like?
This was the question I proposed at our latest Nutrition & Mindfulness Retreat. The overarching theme have been that of stress and how to develop stress resilience, so that we can live in the most fulfilling way possible.
Food and eating is fundamental for survival, yet so many of us develop a really complicated relationship with (often) both. The most basic needs can become neglected, ignored and / or abused.
We somehow forget how to nourish and care for ourselves, in the most basic way – with food.
When we think about self care we may think about massages, hot baths and fancy retreats. We may forget about the importance to care for ourselves, as well as our bodies in a kind compassionate way, often because we get too busy caring for everybody else’s needs!
Having done a number of interviews for my side project The Selfcare Path Podcast, with lots of practitioners from all over the world, one thing that every single onetalked about was the importance of taking care of ourselves,FIRST!
We simply cannot pour from an empty cup. Even though many of us like to think so…
So back to self care and food. What does it look like when I take care of myself in the most nourishing way possible, using food?
This is where bringing some mindfulness to the table can be super helpful. By cultivating both awareness as well as self compassion, I can best support and serve my body with what it needs, when it needs it.
We may straightway think that nourish ourselves with food mean making the most nutritious choices possible. And yes, it does, in a way. But before we even decide what to eat, we need to honour our need TO eat.
First of all (re)learning to recognise the subtle cues of hunger and then HONOUR them (i.e eat!) is important. Even vital! Just like making susre we get adequate sleep and water, we need to feed our bodies if we want them to function well. Or perhaps function at all…
The second thing is to ask ourselves what we are hungry for? If we are physically hungry, what specific food am I hungry for?
This is where it can get complicated. We may have lot of external rules for what we “should” be wanting and what foods are good for us. Or we may fear that if we let ourselves have exactly what we want we will be living on bars of chocolate and crisps forever.
It is at exactly this point where we need to build strong trust as well as deep listening, so that we can actually hear what it is our BODY wants. Not necessarily what the mind is craving…
Mindful eating, is not restrictive (because restriction only backfires!) yet it is not really about eating whatever we want, whenever we want, either.
Mindful eating is to respectfully listen to our bodies for what it needs and then honour that need. This takes time and practice.
Food is fundamental nourishment for our physical body and our survival, so when we feed our bodies in ways that are both nourishing and satisfying we aretaking care of ourselves. Self care through food.
So how do you know what (food) choices to make ?
By trying to make a food choice that is both nutritious and satisfying will also most likely mean that it will definitely be nourishing too.
Being mindful not only give us the opportunity to listen to the signals of hunger, fullness & satiety. It also gives us the chance to be present and make a choice to have what we are hungry for.
It’s all too easy to ignore these subtle signals from our body, when we are stressed.
We eat foods that are easy to grab on the go, struggling to carve out time to prepare meal.
We eat fast, not chewing well and perhaps not tasting much either.
We eat too much or not enough. Neither which serves our body in the way it deserves.
Of course, it is not always possible to make the right match for what you desire and what your body is calling for each and every time. Sometimes we are more mindful than others. Sometimes we don’t have to hand what we want or need, sometimes we let ourselves get ravenous making it hard to to make an informed choice, and other times we eat until we feel uncomfortably full.
This is where self compassion is so powerful.
When the negative voice pops up we need to be kind and caring towards ourselves, rather than letting this inner mean voice take over, and getting stuck beating ourselves up. Instead we can with kindness recognise that perhaps this particular choice at this particular moment, wasn’t the wisest move. And then move on.
This is how we create freedom with choice, and freedom with food.
So maybe it is time, that we pause to check in if we are hungry? And if we are then nourish ourselves with colourful, tasty, satisfying foods, not because we “should”, but because we care?
How are you going to nourish yourself with some self care through food this week?
Do you long to let go of obsession around food, eating and weight? Would you like to feel freedom and peace around meals and beyond, but need some help and support to get there?
It would be an honour to walk with you on this path. Please email me HERE to set up a free 30 min consultation to explore how this may be possible for you too.
